In child training, especially as our children got older, there were times when a child would be struggling with a certain character issue, that I found it best to wait on the right timing before addressing the issue. I found this quote extremely helpful during those times.
"How beautifully the Saviour praises
. He takes full account of their fine spiritual attitudes and behavior. He knows that there is weakness amongst them, but as yet He does not cry out against it. Isn't that just like the Lord? He knows how to encourage us in the right matters and discourage us in the wrong matters. We could all learn a good lesson right here in running the church and our families. And better still, we could all learn a good lesson in that God deals with each one of us in exactly this way. Don't ever be discouraged, Saint of God, for God is not ungracious to forget your labors of love. Whatever we do, even giving a cup of cold water to someone, has a reward and blessing from the Lord."
Due to my personality, my first reaction would be to "nip it in the bud" or to make the consequences tougher. Joel, my husband taught me by his example that is normally not the best course of action. I've learned to commit things to the Lord, pray earnestly and wait until God opens the door before addressing the issue.
I also try to remember that often the character "flaw" they are exhibiting is really a reflection of my own character "flaw" that God has been graciously changing in my life for 39 years. How can I expect them to be more mature than I am? God will change them if I continue to ask God to bring the situations into their lives that will shape their character into what it should be.